I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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