i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
