just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
