I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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