Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
