I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
