O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
