i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
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I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
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It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!