I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house