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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
