ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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