4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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