I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
