I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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