so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
