He is an equal opportunity slut.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
