i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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