HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
