...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize