so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
