May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
