Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This beer is not sobering me up at all
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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