Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
