Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So much rum. So many feels.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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