Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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