Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
"it" just moved
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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