How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
