I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
worst night to have a conscience
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
