just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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