At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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