Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
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I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
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We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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