My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize