Porn is love you can see.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
