Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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