I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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