Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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