took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
