dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...