guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.