Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?