oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.