dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.