Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯