I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
