Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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