my soul wont recognize me after tonight
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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