Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We left the knife in your bed.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize