But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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