The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
