I just threw up on my dentist
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
