Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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