yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
