**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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