I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
