we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
