they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
