ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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