dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i think i just lost a toe
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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