God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
