Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Come see our sink grown plant.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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