All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Randomize
